Lesley is joined by Oskar Gilchrist-Grodnicki to talk about his three roles as a luxury wedding planner, venue wedding specialist and celebrant. They explore planning from abroad, keeping couples calm and creating celebrations that feel personal.
In Episode 21 of Let's Talk Weddings, Lesley and Oskar explore how to make wedding planning feel manageable. Oskar shares his approach to understanding a couple's priorities, narrowing down choices and balancing a beautiful vision with a realistic timeline.
They also discuss his work with the Sonas Hotel Collection, the difference between venue management and independent planning, and the personal story behind his work as a celebrant. From bilingual ceremonies to a read-through before the wedding, the conversation returns to helping couples feel comfortable, included and present on their day.
Let’s Talk Weddings EP21
Hi and let's talk weddings with your Scottish wedding and today I have a young man who has done over a thousand weddings and he's known for keeping people calm and I'm just going to give him a huge big intro because he deserves that. It's Oskar. Oskar, how are you?
Let’s Talk Weddings EP21
Hi and let's talk weddings with your Scottish wedding and today I have a young man who has done over a thousand weddings and he's known for keeping people calm and I'm just going to give him a huge big intro because he deserves that. It's Oskar. Oskar, how are you?
Oskar: I'm very well. Young man, thank you very much. That's very kind. I like you even more now.
Lesley: How are you?
Oskar: Very well, thank you very much. It's been a fantastic wedding season. and we're just wrapping things up, it's been great. And looking forward to doing our Hogmanay wedding and starting next season already in the pipeline.
Lesley: We've got lots to talk about today.
Oskar: Absolutely.
Lesley: So let's just dive in, will we?
Oskar: Great.
Lesley: So, you are not just, you're not just one thing, Oskar. So you look after a number of incredible venues in Isle of Skye, you are a celebrant and over and above that you're a luxury wedding planner. How do you fit it all in?
Oskar: I question that myself sometimes. How does that all happen?
Lesley: How does it all happen?
Oskar: It's all about managing priorities here as well. It's three very distinct roles that I manage and fulfil. At Oskar Luxury Wedding Planning, we focus on destination weddings coming to Scotland internationally. We serve primarily North American market, continental Europe, Australia, a little bit of the Far East as well. And couples who want that boots on the ground support, couples who are planning weddings across thousands of miles at different time zones, couples who are leading very busy lifestyles and want that organised head-on somebody who can support them and make this planning journey a lot calmer and a lot more relaxed for them as well.
Oskar: They've got full-time jobs now, they've got to plan away then, you know, they want somebody who can help them with that as well.
Lesley: They've got a full-time job and you've got three full-time jobs, eh?
Oskar: Right.
Lesley: So, obviously, with the time zones and time differences, does that mean that you can be on like a call or like a video call at like two o'clock in the morning, five o'clock in the morning.
Oskar: It's never happened because, truly speaking, we've worked with couples from Japan to California. The time zones can be quite vast, but actually a lot of couples also from their perspective want to plan their wedding first thing in the morning at lunch break or later in the evening. So when we had couples working in Japan, they were doing their calls in the evening, So it was like a lunchtime or morning for us. The couples in the US quite often want to get on a call just before work or maybe at their lunch break.
Oskar: So it all works together, but yes, I could be on a call at seven o'clock in the morning. I could be on a call at nine p.m. at night UK time. So it's just managing and being flexible with our couples and understanding their challenges as well.
Lesley: What's the, what's the sort of strangest request you've ever asked?
Oskar: Oh gosh, now a careful question. There's been so many, there's been so many. I'm trying to think now, gosh, strangest request.
Lesley: Haven't we think about it? We can come back to it, we can come back to it. So obviously that's your wedding planning business, like how do people find you? Where do they find you?
Oskar: So our couples find us mostly through the medium of, obviously, nowadays, ChatGPT and AI, but majority of our couples find us through Google searches. We've invested heavily into the development of a new brand, new website, new social media channels and the marketing there.
Lesley: That looks great, by the way.
Oskar: Thank you, thank you. It's been a long time coming and it's been a great result. We're very happy with that. But yes, a lot of our couples start at the very early stages through social media and Google and that's where they find us.
Lesley: And then talk us through what the planning process looks like because obviously it's like, so obviously you have all this knowledge in your brain, like years and years of experience and obviously they're just starting out so it's like a bit of a, they'll be a bit like deer and headlights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's obviously up to you to one, calm them down to steer them in the right direction with incredible suppliers and so just talk us through what that all looks like.
Oskar: I love to get on a call with our couples. We do a discovery call on Zoom as a first point of call because before they even book us I just want to get the feel for the couple, what their priorities are, what their pain points are and equally for them to understand how we can support them on that journey as well. It's about learning their personalities, it's about learning their expectations, it's about the vision, who else is maybe involved in the wedding planning journey as well.
Oskar: And quite often when I do ask the couples questions, you know, what does a successful wedding look like for you? What are the non-negotiables? What are maybe the things you want to avoid for the wedding? A lot of couples immediately fall into this pitfall of thinking about the aesthetic of the wedding. Because that's the natural thing. If you don't know what you don't know, that's where you kind of lean into it and then I say well actually this is great I'm glad you've got this figured out some couples don't of course but what do you want the wedding to feel like and that's when you go lightbulb moment oh we never thought about that well let's unwrap this and it's the conversation I don't want to jump into the wedding of we want these flowers those flowers those backdrops and stuff like that because that's the easy part it tells me nothing about priorities, your vision.
Oskar: So it's actually diving deep into what that wedding actually means to them and how they want their guests or themselves to feel on their wedding day as well. So it's those very initial conversations and obviously if we both decide where the right fit for each other then the fun begins. We then start identifying the priorities, the action plans, we start building what we like to refer to as fully comprehensive master's schedule. And I'm very much in the great belief that we focus on quality over quantity.
Oskar: I'm a great believer in the power of three. So rather than giving couples a lot of choices, we give them three great ones.
Lesley: And I think that's important because I think if you get too many choices, it's just that it's equally overwhelming as opposed to…
Oskar: Totally. Psychologically, couples struggle with something what's referred to in psychology as a decision fatigue because there's just the overwhelm of choices.
Lesley: Social media hasn't really helped with that either, has it?
Oskar: Oh my goodness, probably. Pinterest boards, Pinterest, Instagram, and TikToks. They're great.
Lesley: Yeah, they are great and they definitely have a place for them, but I think when people look and go, like we hear this all the time, it's that people go, I've seen this on TikTok and I love it and I really want that from my wedding. And then a lot of suppliers go, well that's not reached this country yet, or that's AI, it's not even been created yet.
Oskar: Absolutely. But it's about having those honest conversations. You love this, but what exactly do you love about this and how far are you happy to compromise? we've had a couple just this couple of weeks ago where they said, oh, do you know, we want serpentine tables and we want these candles on the tables and everything else like that. And we then consulted with the venue and the venue said, well, actually to achieve this between dinner and the first dance, because it's all in the same space, you're going to need to give us two hours to reset that.
Oskar: And I said, right, now we know this is going to take two hours, what's more important to you? The look or not over killing the timeline. Timeline is more important to us. Great. We need to maybe rethink this.
Lesley: Absolutely. And that's where your expertise comes in is because as much as people have these incredible ideas, sometimes the practicality of it just doesn't work.
Oskar: Absolutely. And listen, if aesthetic is the first thing for you, we'll make that happen.
Lesley: 100%.
Oskar: If you don't want to be spending two hours after dinner and dip in the energy, then maybe we need to just re-address certain things.
Lesley: Re-work things.
Oskar: Right.
Lesley: So obviously like a wedding planner, I feel that wedding planning has definitely taken off in this country more so than ever before. And I think it's just because people live very, very busy lives and we are all just busier than I feel that what we used to be and I think that's just because life is now going at a very fast pace. So wedding planning is a massive thing now and I'm so glad that it is because again like we see lots of people on social media saying I've just got engaged and that was incredible but I'm actually lost and I've not started planning because I'm petrified.
Lesley: Where do we even start yeah
Oskar: This is quite often the question. I've read this somewhere a couple of years ago. Actually a lot of couples first thing that they research is where do we start? It's that realisation of like, hey, we're engaged, look at the ring, it's fantastic.
Lesley: And then reality hits in.
Oskar: What happens now?
Lesley: What do I do? What do I book? Who am I meant to be speaking to? Who can I trust? Who can I not trust? Yeah, there's just, there's a lot to take on. So certainly for your process, obviously you've said that you meet the couples, so whether that's online because they're abroad. I mean obviously you look after couples in Scotland too if they wanted you.
Oskar: Of course. It's a different approach to this. In the US the approach is very much every wedding's got a wedding planner. Couples understand that and when they come to us it's not a question of do we need a wedding planner is what wedding planner we need and what support we need from the get-go. And quite often when I ask couples about the motivation, you know, you've decided to come into the skull, but why? All right, you've got very busy, you know, your own businesses, maybe you're CEOs of the businesses, you're maybe doctors, lawyers, whatever you might be, you've got busy lifestyles and you're also not here, you've maybe never been to Scotland and how do you even navigate that even over the local knowledge but for the Scottish couples or our couples within the UK the aspect and the motivation and for considering a wedding planner is slightly different particularly when you know I'm working with couples in Edinburgh where I'm based and those couples tend to go you know what our mum's friend does flowers and our granny's really good pal is going to do our wedding cake.
Oskar: Great. They are happy to maybe plan certain elements of the wedding, but equally, they do not want to manage the wedding on the day. They do not want their mothers, brothers, sisters to be runnable.
Lesley: I knew they should, to be fair.
Oskar: Exactly, exactly. And they come to us and say, Oskar, we're quite happy to plan the wedding, organize everything, but we don't want to be in charge of the wedding. Can you make it happen? Can you help? And that's why we've got three very distinct services that we offer as well. Coordination tends to be a lot more attractive to local couples, whereas full planning, part planning tends to be a lot more attractive for destination couples.
Lesley: And that makes perfect sense, doesn't it?
Oskar: Absolutely.
Lesley: And it really does. So can we move on to obviously the venues that you look after? Because they're not local.
Oskar: They're not, they're not. And I'm actually en route to Skye today, apparently enough. We've got a wedding at Skeabost House Hotel today. So, obviously working with Sonas Hotel Collection, they've got beautiful luxury country houses in sky and in open. Sonas means happiness as well, so it's a very lovely approach to this in Gallic and it's a family-owned business, so they deeply care about the properties but also about their weddings as well, which Which is why they decided to work with me for the wedding side of the business.
Lesley: So are you planning for them? Is that what you're doing? You're doing wedding planning for the management?
Oskar: It's a slightly different approach, Lesley, because where I do full planning in my own wedding business, that's everything from hair makeup, transport, you know, coordinating the wedding the whole lot. Where I work with Sonas Hotel Collection or any venue management I've done in the past, actually the venue side of things. So when you think about the venue, it's your food and beverage, it's about your accommodation, it's about the logistics of that, it's about complexities that come with venue management, it's about making sure that team understand the full communication, it's very much teamwork because it's not just me.
Oskar: I'm based in Edinburgh, I take care of the admin side of things, but I need to make sure that what I'm putting on paper, transpires into a successful wedding and the team on the ground can deliver that for our couples as well. So it is a completely different approach to it. It is very much leading and directing that conversation from start to finish being that one point of contact for the couple, but equally introducing the teams and couples feeling like it's a team efforts that this wedding comes together.
Lesley: But it is because like everything you know like people always say oh Lesley you do such a great job and I go hmm takes a village. It takes a village. It's not just me. Yeah absolutely and I love it you know the beautiful venues and going up this time of the year and seeing all the colours on route to the Highlands is absolutely spectacular. Yeah so what is your transfer time then?
Oskar: For going from Edinburgh to Skeabost, just passport free will be just about five hours.
Lesley: Wowza! It's beautiful. Put an audio book on, you're right! A wee audible book. And how many other properties do they have? Because I know that they've got, I think you'd mentioned Oban and obviously Skye, so how many venues are you actually looking after?
Oskar: So there's three venues in Skye, that's where the family originates from and that's where the business started with Toravaig the smallest and then they've expanded and then they've ventured out to the mainland for the very first time three years ago now open in Oban just outside sorry Knipoch just outside of Oban.
Lesley: Yes so we did a photoshoot up there. I think was that their first year? I think maybe it was their second year. It was yes and they were just freshly just kind of unwrapping everything. It was amazing, it was so beautiful and the staff were incredible as well.
Oskar: It's just on the Loch Front, beautiful gardens, fantastic property on the inside. It's got a lot going for it.
Lesley: Yeah, yeah, no, it's beautiful, they've got beautiful properties. So that's another full-time second job that we've touched on. So celebrant. Yes. I love that you're a celebrant. It just makes perfect sense that that's what you do because you're such a personable person. And when my bestie got married last year, she was like, who are we going to get to Maria's? And I said, here's a list. I gave her a list. Three, maybe four. And I said, pick one because it's got to be right for you.
Lesley: I know who I love. I said, but it's got to be right for you. And then she picked you.
Oskar: great working with Lynn and Gary. I had such a lovely time and obviously with their story starting at Birstend and then getting married at Birstend was so meaningful as well so it just kind of was like a full circle experience for them with having kids and build their life and then deciding actually it's now time to focus on us and have our moment. It was so beautiful to see it all come together.
Lesley: Yeah so when somebody's booking you for that service What does that look like? Where does it all start?
Oskar: So it's a completely independent and separate entity in itself. It's a very clear distinction that we need to make here is that as a celebrant, my role is to solemnise marriages in Scotland. So it does not correlate with anything else that I do. However, it's beautiful because it's done through Fuze Ceremonies. So couples can book a discovery call with me as well just to get to know each other a little bit better. And then once they book, the fun begins. 90% of my weddings, wedding ceremonies are actually bilingual.
Lesley: Oh really?
Oskar: Because obviously I'm Polish. So it's interesting that I've decided to do this. And actually my main motivation to become a celebrant in the first place was my wedding to George. So, when we were getting married in 2018, we wanted to celebrate the Scottish and the Polish culture. And one thing that we lacked was bilingual celebrants in Scotland at the time.
Lesley: So we had to make it happen.
Oskar: A hundred percent.
Lesley: One of our friends became there.
Oskar: Absolutely. Exactly. We wanted both families and cultures represented in the ceremony, so we made it happen. Beautiful Scottish celebrant delivered the service, but we had our friends doing translation there as well. But that triggered something in me and I said, actually, could I be the answer to that question? Could I be something that we didn't have the opportunity to have for our own weddings? So that was the main motivation for it. I qualified in 2021 and I've been doing certainly since.
Oskar: And like I said, 90% of my clients are now bilingual Polish, Scottish couples who want to do that embrace together as well. And it's quite lovely when I deliver the service, even planning aside, being there in that room and seeing both the Polish side of the family and the Scottish side of the family laughing and crying at the same story equally and feeling involved. It's absolutely special.
Lesley: Yeah, it really is. And I think it's such a privilege to marry somebody. It's the biggest thing that they'll ever do in life apart from buying a house, having kids it just is and the service that you delivered for Leningari like I think we were all floods and tears with a few funnies in there as well but yeah it was a beautiful day it was an incredible day so having seen what you do first hand it was really beautiful and very very special.
Oskar: And you know, a lot of couples ask me why do I kind of move the formalities of planning of the ceremony three months before the wedding, because a lot happens in life, right? So we want to keep it fresh, we want to keep it close to the wedding, we start the journey of planning things, asking the questions. How did you guys meet? What was it? What did you think of one another when you first met? When was that moment when you said, I'm going to marry her.
Oskar: Like that sort of things. I want to know the stories. I want to get to know you guys and I want to give justice to the personalities. It's not about me. It's not about my ego. Happily married of eight years today. So, you know, it's about making sure that we give the couples the opportunity to tell their stories in their own words, in their own ways as well. And actually, I think what's very special came to put in in my wedding planner hat on.
Oskar: I understand when couples come to me and they sometimes work with other celebrants, whether that's religious or other, you know, kind of philosophies of life. Couples come to me and they don't know what their ceremony looks like. And that breaks my heart. So it's one thing that I do with my couples is that one month before the wedding, we sit down and do a full read through of the plan of the script of the ceremony. So they can ask questions. we can understand the choreography of the wedding.
Oskar: Where do we stand? How do the legal vows happen? Like, if we're going to repeat after you, are you going to just blur it all out or do we break it down? And comes the wedding, I feel my couples are a lot more grounded and comfortable because they're not having to overthink it.
Lesley: Because the expectation has been set. They know exactly what they've to do on day. They know how they're seeing it, the delivery of it has already been. That's just again another one of your qualities and you're such a great human.
Oskar: Thank you.
Lesley: You're a good lad. I've known you obviously for a long, long time, you and George, so it's lovely that you're in the studio today. Words of wisdom, like what would you say to your couples, whether it's like they've booked one of the venues in Skye or whether it's your planning hat that's on or whether it's your celebrant hat that's on like what would you suggest to couples because it is a lot for them to process the easy part is always saying yes let's get married right look I've got the gorgeous ring like yeah and then it's just it's it can be full on.
Oskar: If there was one thing that I could say to my couples one very specific and important thing. Remember at the back of your mind why you're doing this in the first place. Your guests, I'm going to break this to you guys, will not remember the satin finish of your napkin, the colour of it. They will remember how they felt in the moment, how you made them feel and what happened at that wedding and why they were there for you in there as well.
Oskar: So if there's one takeaway from the whole wedding experience is if you ever get yourself into a bit of a tis about what do we need to decide or the overwhelm of it all, take a moment, sit back, why are we doing this and why is this important to me? And is it that important that I can't compromise on it or can we move on and focus on something else? Just as simple as that.
Lesley: When I used to do wedding planning, I used to say to couples, don't sweat the small stuff.
Oskar: Right. So easy, Ben.
Lesley: Because it really doesn't matter. You think in that moment that the shoes matter, the earrings matter. It all matters.
Oskar: Of course.
Lesley: But there's a degree in levels of, you know, there's a place for all of that. So, yeah, the main thing is that you're becoming husband and wife or husband and husband or wife and wife, whatever the permutation, that's the important thing out of that whole day.
Oskar: Absolutely. And actually you don't need a dress, you don't need earrings, you don't need a suit, a kilt, or anything else. And it's terrible, you know, maybe not so much in the planning sphere of my life, but when we attend weddings, and you know, we speak with our friends, they're planning weddings, we get invited to them. And I sometimes see them on the wedding day that they get in a moment because something hasn't quite gone to plan and I just grabbed them and I go, is that how you want to remember your wedding?
Oskar: No? Great. Smile, move on, we will sort it. You want to remember your wedding for the right reasons and you don't want to look back on your wedding going, do you know what, I was stressed, I didn't enjoy it, it was too much. Just let it go and move on.
Lesley: 100% 100% so we usually do like quick fire questions you ready for this
Oskar: yes go for it
Lesley: brace yourself and just say the first thing that comes into your head okay what's your favorite color we'll start off with an easy one
Oskar: I'll be honest with you I couldn't pinpoint one color in my opinion it's a combination of two okay black and gold all right okay it's timeless it's sophisticated and we're paired together layer together, it can be really beautiful. Yeah, absolutely.
Lesley: What's your favourite time of year?
Oskar: I'd probably want to say spring because everything comes back to life. We get longer days, you've got the choice of florals as well. Obviously being a redhead myself, I know that I tie in quite nicely with autumn and I do like a cozy blanket.
Lesley: Absolutely, get the candles on.
Oskar: Exactly, candles on, a fireplace, a hot chocolate in hand. It's beautiful as well.
Lesley: Oh nice, nice. If you were to go back to your 16 year old self, Oskar, what would you say to yourself? What piece of advice? Knowing where you're at now, what would you say to yourself?
Oskar: I think I'm quite a perfectionist and pedantic and I think I forget quite often how to take a moment to celebrate the milestones and if I was to say one thing to my 16 year old self, take a moment to celebrate and appreciate how far you've come. It's quite easy to what's next, to think what's the next goal, what's the next ambition and not appreciate how far we've come. Probably the biggest takeaway for me.
Lesley: And seeing that outlined that obviously you will have to become a champion for yourself because you are, I think we're very self-critical, aren't we? We're like, oh, I could have maybe done that better or I should have maybe I've just spent an extra five minutes on that or but actually you are a perfectionist. Like I think I'm a perfectionist, but oh, you give me a run for my money.
Oskar: I'm my biggest critic.
Lesley: Oh, same. Same. Absolutely. Same. People go do a great job ladies and what did I yeah yeah so um so from me to you you're doing a great job thank you with every single hat that you wear thank you um wear it with pride and just keep being incredible Oskar I appreciate it because you genuinely are honestly you're you're a good human
Oskar: thank you coming from here it means a lot I really appreciate it
Lesley: Are we? Like you just are, I only ever speak the truth so yeah and it's, I love that we've got such a great friendship and yeah you're just a good, you're a good person. So thank you so much for coming in today, we have absolutely loved having you.
Oskar: Thank you for having me.
Lesley: If there's anything else that you want to share like now's your time.
Oskar: I think you know one and foremost important thing I want to say is in Scotland we're very lucky to have so much choice and so much variety but once again don't focus on the little things let it run you know change your mind change your opinions it's absolutely fine don't listen to the little voices just remember at the back of your mind why you're doing this in the first place and you're going to have the ball of life.
Lesley: Yeah and it's important that you've picked the right partner.
Oskar: Oh yes if there's one thing that needs to happen is the right partner absolutely.
Lesley: Brilliant thank you so so much for coming in to speak to us today it's been an absolute pleasure Oskar.
Oskar: Pleasure thank you very much Lesley.
Lesley: Thank you take care.
Host: Lesley Traynor
Guest: Oskar Gilchrist-Grodnicki, Oskar Luxury Wedding Planning
Length: 28 minutes