Would you have your mum as your maid of honour?
- ThePlus Audio
Please click here to listen to this article
With more and more couples choosing to throw out the traditional rule book of which loved one fits which role in their wedding,
Jennifer McLaren shares some heartwarming stories..
Charlotte Alderson married husband Ben on an unexpectedly warm and sunny day in Edinburgh at the beginning of April last year.
She describes her mum, Karen Young, as her best friend – so it was only natural to ask her to be bridesmaid on her special day!
With three brothers and lots of great pals, Charlotte wasn’t ever going to have an easy task choosing a wedding party.
In the end, mum was definitely the word – and she also had three ‘brides-mates’ who helped to organise her fabulous hen do.
“I just thought ‘what is a bridesmaid?’ and a bridesmaid is the person that you lean on the most,” Charlotte explains.
“My mum is my best mate, I speak to her all the time and as we were going on, it just made perfect sense.”
Karen, meanwhile, was surprised when Charlotte asked her to be bridesmaid: “I did think initially it was a sweet gesture that Charlotte was making – I didn’t realise until a bit later that she really meant it as a bridesmaid and she wasn’t just doing this to keep me happy.
“It took a while to just sink in and it made what was obviously going to be an emotional day even more emotional.”
Charlotte adds: “I always think that the father of the bride gets quite a lot of chat on the day so it was nice to be able to honour my mum in that way, because they both got a shout-out.”
Karen wore a stunning magenta Fely Campo dress from Catherine’s of Partick along with a matching hat.
Charlotte had wanted bright colours and surprised her mum with a vibrant bouquet, which complemented the dress beautifully.
Charlotte says that dress shopping had to be with her mum, because she has such great fashion sense.
And in the run-up to the day, Karen was always one step ahead, from finding the perfect pair of earrings for Charlotte to borrow, to conjuring up a stylish silk head scarf for her daughter to wear on the way to the wedding in a chic red convertible that demonstrated this wedding truly was a family affair.
The car belonged to Karen’s parents and her brother and his wife decorated and brought it down for the ceremony.
Charlotte says the rest of the day went smoothly thanks to the excellent team at Prestonfield Stables, and Karen says it was all about going with the flow: “I was
always looking out for Charlotte, but as a mum you do that anyway.”
Beautiful memories
Gina Williams of Fuze Ceremonies was celebrant at Charlotte and Ben’s wedding, describing the day as “incredible”.
Gina recalls: “When I met Charlotte and Ben to discuss their wedding and Charlotte told me she had asked her mum to be her bridesmaid, I thought it was such a lovely gesture.
“It was clear they have a wonderful relationship and what could be more perfect than having your mum beside you as your rock and support for your wedding
preparations and on your big day?
“On the day, Charlotte’s mum was super-organised and seemed one step ahead, making sure Charlotte had everything she needed.
“Your mum is going to be your biggest cheerleader and only wants the best for you.
“I’m sure Charlotte must have felt confident that her mum would have everything covered, and as a result she was a very calm and relaxed bride.
“And what beautiful memories to be making together as a mother and daughter!
“From the moment Charlotte arrived at Fettes looking effortlessly classy in a headscarf and sunglasses, in a fabulous open top bright red sports car, she was so calm and full of fun,” Gina goes on.
“Karen ensured Charlotte’s dress and veil were all sorted just prior to the ceremony, and again I recall how calm everyone was.
“It was such a joy, and I’m sure that was largely down to Charlotte and Karen being so at ease in each other’s company.”
As a celebrant, Gina has seen lots of couples involving parents and step-parents in their ceremonies.
“It’s such a great honour to bestow on your loved ones and so amazing to have them included.
“There are so many options and I find couples are often keen to have the mums included, maybe because dads generally do the speeches or walk the bride down the aisle.”
She’s had mums involved in unity candle lighting, doing the pouring for the drinking from the quaich and mums acting as the couple’s witnesses.
“How lovely that their names will forever, through the passage of time, be present on the Marriage Schedule,” she says.
It’s Gina’s role to assist each of her couples in creating their perfect ceremony.
“I always ask if the couple would like to involve others in the ceremony, as this is such a special way of making family and friends feel included in the celebrations.
I confess that I’m very pro-mums being included, as they will undoubtedly have made an extra special effort with their outfits and are hopefully feeling fabulous!”
Sarah Graham married husband Nathan at Bachilton Barn, Perthshire, in December 2020.
They had originally been scheduled to wed in April 2020, but a matter of weeks before, the UK went into lockdown.
While they were able to reschedule, there were still restrictions on guest numbers.
Having already postponed once, the couple decided to proceed with a wedding consisting of immediate family only, dubbing it their “wee wedding”.
Their celebrant was Maureen Kettle from the Humanist Society Scotland.
With family such a key part of the day, Sarah takes up the heartwarming story of her beloved gran Edith Henderson, who has sadly now passed away.
“My gran was the most caring, kind and amazing woman and the true matriarch of our family.
“It was very important for me to have her attending our wedding.
“In our original wedding arrangements for April 2020, my gran was attending as an all-day guest.
“However, when our date shifted, there were limitations on guest numbers,” she says.
“As we settled on only having immediate family attending – and as my gran was my sole living grandparent at the time – it became clear that I wanted her to become more involved than an all-day guest.
“Two out of my three original bridesmaids could not attend with restrictions in December, so I decided to ask my gran to become my sole bridesmaid on our special day.”
Sarah wanted to ask the question in as special a way as possible and growing up had always enjoyed writing poems for Edith whenever there was a family occasion like a birthday or anniversary.
She wrote about all the things Edith had done for her over the years, placing capital letters in each line to spell out ‘BE MY BRIDESMAID’.
“I wish I could have caught her reaction on camera as her initial reply was: ‘but I’m 86-and-a-half’!” Sarah recalls.
Although Edith was surprised, she was also pleased as she revealed to Sarah that she had never been a bridesmaid before, and that it was “better late than never”.
“To this day, that is a memory that is very special to me and I will cherish that moment with my gran Edith forever,” Sarah says.
On the day, Edith wore a beautiful pink dress with a navy blue blazer, navy shoes and a navy blue hairpiece.
“It meant so much to me sharing our special day with her as my bridesmaid, and the fact that she was happy and willing to do so wholeheartedly showcases how much of an amazing gran she was.”
What to wear when you’re both MOB and ‘Maid
Louise Brown of Catwalk, Falkirk, says they’ve had many mums walking their daughter or son down the aisle over the years and that finding a spectacular mum’s outfit rather than a traditional bridesmaid dress would be the best way to go if you were planning to have a mum as a bridesmaid or MOH.
“In our experience, most mums of the bride or groom want to complement the colour tone of the bridal party but if mum is also stepping in as MOH or if gran is the fun ‘flower girl’ then there might be a little more pressure to tone in while still standing out,” she explains.
Veni Infantino
“A huge trend for summer 2024 mums is floral prints and there is an abundance of choice in the new and exciting Veni Infantino collection.
“Choosing a print to match the other bridesmaids’ colour with the addition of a headpiece could be an option.
“There is also the option of a longer style with the chiffon floaty skirts to make sure you’re elegant for the ceremony but dance floor ready for the party.”
Would you ask your mum or Gran to be a bridesmaid?
Let us know at editorial@yourscottishwedding.co.uk
